i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
