the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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