literally had 100 drinks last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
