Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
