I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
