as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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