I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize