Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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