Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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