What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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