Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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