i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize