I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
