How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
