Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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