kristin has been a bad kristin
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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