Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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