glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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