the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
