Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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