why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
