cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
