it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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