I wanna bring you to show and tell
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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