week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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