I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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