I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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