I just saw a hot homeless man
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
