thus making me awesome and them whores
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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