yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
