My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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