Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
