I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
