Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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