nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
