Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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