So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize