i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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