No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
