Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
