Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
