I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
