I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
