GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
