I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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