I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Girls should come with a carfax report
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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