either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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