Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
