So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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