he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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