ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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