This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
