Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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