yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
