4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
