and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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