Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
