i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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