A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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